It feels nice to come back to this blog after such a long hiatus. I'm bummed that I didn't maintain this blog as much as I intended, but with my current unlimited access to time (unemployment), I should be able to do more.
The title of this entry is kind of a three point reference to a sculpture, one of my favorite pieces of American literature, and my current emotional state. Let's visit each right now:
1. The Awakening - J. Seward Johnson, Jr. (1980)
This statue is kind of the crown jewel of the National Harbor, MD, outside of Washington DC. It used to be at Hains Point, and it was sold and brought to the harbor, where it serves as a weird jungle gym for kids in the summer. I've climbed on it a couple of times to sit amd look at the Potomac. If you can manage to climb it, it sort of makes the view worthwhile, and how many times in your lifetime do you get to sit on a big toe?
Anyway, this sculpture had significance when I was down by the beach with my parents when they came to visit. I had gotten them a discounted hotel room (thanks to my front desk job with Marriott), and I had been looking forward to showing them around the DC area. My mother teaches art, and I knew she would be impressed by it. But when I looked at it there with them, that sculpture represented to me what all that hard work to get to that job had led to. After years of seasonal and temporary work, I was pulling myself up into the world of full time work; with health insurance, 401k, stock options...adult stuff. It all just became real. I'll never forget that.
2. "The Awakening" - Kate Chopin (1899)
I can't understand why nobody reads this book anymore. It has a close connection to me as it reminds me of my days in community college and Professor Tatu's American Literature course. I learned a lot about literature, but I also learned how to dig deeper and understand the message an author wanted to convey, which gave me a greater appreciation for books and enhanced my reading.
For those of you who haven't read it, I'll give you a quick rundown of the story:
Edna and her family are vacationing on the Gulf of Mexico. While there, she spends time with her friend Adele, who constantly reminds Edna of her motherly/wifely duties. While her husband is away, Edna starts flirting and seeing Robert, the son of the hotel manager. I wasn't to into Adele at all. Especially when she told Robert to leave Edna alone because "She might make the unfortunate blunder of taking you seriously." Robert, of course gets totally offended by Adele's crazy talk, but disappears when he realizes he and Edna have no future. Which leaves Edna to do some soul searching and decides to take a more active role in her own happiness.
Which brings me to
3. The Awakening- unemployment.
2014 has been a rough year for me so far. I got fired from my job (for reasons that are absolutely ludicrous) and I have found myself in a constant tide of depression and happiness. It's a weird struggle: some days I don't want to be awake and sleep all day, some days I don't want to leave my bed, and some days I just don't want to be me. I also find myself in a cycle of sleepless nights (thanks to anxiety over bills, money, and job apps), or tears every night. But
I learned something about being the voice that brings light to something everyone just ignores. It might cost you a lot, but at least it means you don't follow what everyone else does, you stick to what is expected of you and you individualize yourself. I also learned that asking your superiors to show you harder tasks, leads to great things.
That's all the brain power I have for now.
Happy Reading!
